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I feel so neutralized right now. Yesterday was strange. It was a shitty day and a great day...so they cancel each other out right? -1+1=0 Funny how life does that to you. My negative is that my job sucks butt and they keep setting me back. BUT the good thing is that I FINALLY got into UC Santa Cruz. Now I have to see about Irvine and Santa Barbara.
So anyways...i've been watching the 4th season of Sex and the City and Carrie and Aiden's relationship reminds me SOOOO much of mine and Steve's. The guy even looks like Steve...but I watched the show yesterday and it was the one where the break up because he wants to get married and she's not ready. It was so sad...i cried. I feel JUST like them. I feel like thats what our relationship is headed for. Even if its not marriage we're dealing with it's just different times in our lives. I love steve so much and i have great respect for him...that will never ever fade...but i feel like the more time that goes by the clearer our fate is; and neither one of us is ready to deal with it. I have too many decisions right now
March 16 2006, 23:37:44 UTC 6 years ago
eesh
Hmm. You and I really need to actually see eachother in person and have a long time. Im sorry. I can understand the way you feel but Im totally not in that position. You must feel trapped sort of in a way.Are you at the point where you want to be with him but need to go out too?
Im probably the most confused in my situation that I have ever been. I feel so trapped and so not...so lonely and so not...and ahhhh. I want to move. I dont want to move. I want to run. I want to stay.
HEEEEEEEELP. haha. No but seriously you and I need to see eachother and talk and hang out...without me getting arrested. HAHA. <3
March 17 2006, 06:12:39 UTC 6 years ago
oh yeah, i miss you.